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I peed standing up for a week. The results were messy | by Sarah Miller

By on March 29, 2021 0
Photo by Diana Horloge
Image courtesy of Sarah miller

I pissed like a man all over my bathroom

In my experience, living with a guy means there is pee all over the bathroom. There are exceptions. I ran into a guy I had slept with once and found him peeing while sitting down. His ex-wife had taught him how to get clean. (In Germany it would be called a sitzpinkler.)

I pissed like a man on a road trip

Sometimes guys need to pee like truckers ie in a container on the road. My friend Doris thoughtfully let me pee in the backseat of her car on the way to Napa. Not only that, but she also bought a bottle of peach tea so that I could empty it and then fill it with my urine. I put down a trash bag and sat down with just the edge of my butt on the seat. Then I pulled up my dress and pulled my panties apart to position the GoGirl. My bladder was hesitating, and I didn’t pee much, at least that’s what I thought. Peezy easy. I only noticed a small amount of leakage on the bag.

I got annoyed on my first real test drive.

I pissed like a man in the men’s bathroom

I went to a Pride event at the California Academy of Sciences. I was wearing a hot pink wig and a short dress when I made my way to the men’s bathroom to use my GoGirl. I waited for a free urinal and got my things done. Unfortunately, I didn’t take into account that a urinal is taller than a toilet (24˝ vs. 17˝). When I went to disconnect the extension tube from the funnel, I did not notice that the urine had not drained properly. I peed all over my left leg, my shoe and the floor. There was already pee on the floor.

I pissed like a man after drinking in a bar

My friends and I were looking for single men in the upscale Oakland neighborhoods. We moved into Drexl, a bar with Skee-Ball and a serious lack of toilets. The queue was long and I wanted to take a pee. I dated my GoGirl and a random guy my friend Kitty easily convinced to join me.

No one cared except a smoker, who asked me what I was doing. When I told her we were peeing, she said, “It’s disgusting.” It turns out that smoking is disgusting, so we’re tied.

After completing my last urinating challenge, I looked at the transthetics available to FTMs or gender non-conforming people. I discovered Mr. Fenis and had a serious urge to funnel it. Mr. Fenis, among other options – which IMO says have better names than FUDs (Peecock, Pee-Zee, Mr. Limpy) – is a stand-to-pee device (STP). STPs designed for trans people look like real penises. Mr. Fenis comes in shades of vanilla, olive, beige and chocolate. Like the GoGirl reviews, many reviews say that you are going to pee on yourself a lot using a Mr. Fenis. If I have to pee on myself, I much prefer to do it while taking out a prosthetic penis.

Illustration by Julia Barzizza

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